it never rains, it pours

yes, you all should know by now that i'm posted to NYP's multimedia and infocomm technology, was my first choice because the points was just nice (22) but hell did i know, the damn points dropped very drastically to a 26 points this year. this sort of made me lose confidence and interest to the course, it seems like nobody likes to be in that course. and i found out evonne(dajieda) is in the same course erm don't ask me if it's a good or bad thing. haha

many classmates were posted to NYP, as lian qouted, it's machiam a "mini 4D" there, haha.

i've been pissed by something recently, but don't ask me what.

okay so work is okay and stuff, finally given the chance to take orders, yay... got to meet many funny customers, got twits, got ahbengs, got ang mo, got snobs, all kinds la.

i've many funny happenings during work, like there's this one time mario, took out his mini notebook from his pocket and flipped to a page, then showed me accross the restaurant, first letter "U" then he flipped, "R" flipped again, "HOT" i couldn't stop laughing la, first time see this type of funny character, so fun, but apparently he's been showing that lil notebook to almost every female waitress? haha hillarious man.

ohoh and there's this aunty today, while we were opening the restraunt, she came up to me and asked me how to go to NTUC, after directing her with the help of eli and lorraine, she still seemed unsure of how to get there, so i volunteered to bring her, since i finished my task. then she patted my back and said, "wa, girl so good ah, i wish you good luck in your finding a good husband okay, you not married right?" WTF my face so chao lao?! *starts throwing objects across room*and she continued with "not bad what, pretty leh, haha come girl give aunty 4 digit numbers i go buy, if strike i give you some" okay didn't see that coming as well.. i just laughed and smiled politely then went back to the restraunt.

oh and on wednesday right after work, i had a date with two hot babes at nyny.

lorraine, still can't get over how pretty she is

eli with her "i want food. now."

and many of my friends commented how pretty she is la, she is okay got those ang mo look, but she kuku keep denying, sigh

if only i got looks like all my friends

MARIO this freaking funny guy here took my camera to camwhore when i asked him to help us take a picture, and there's this scene when lorraine asked him to pass us some serviettes, he came back to us, placed a big bulk of un-opened package of serviettes on our table and said "here's the serviettes you want, ma'm". really oughta kick his ass

just look at him la!

hah, and on thursday i had a day off, went to watch juno with weijie at j8, kinda enjoyed the movie, but i was of no mood so went home right after the show. intended to attend a dear friend's grandma's wake.. but my parents said it's still the new year season, it's inauspicious to attend such things, blabla. superstions, bahh like any other downfall or badluck is going to affect my damn bloody life now.

and guess what? i went home, walked pass the fish pond, wanted to slot my hp into my damned pockets and oh yes due to my carlessness i did merely rubbed my hp against my skirt and PLOP, dropped my hp, and i stood there, watching it sink down the slimy algae-filled pond.. until i heard my father shouting i went and grab on a giant net and fished it out. and now my phone have problems reacting. sad, so very very sad.

so that night was the last night of CNY so my mom decided that the three of us (my parents and i) went out for dinner. we went to amk's jack place.

and guessed who i saw there dining at the restraunt as well?

mrs chan mui khim!

*starts yodelling*

aka 6b form teacher aka chicken giver

i know you 6b peeps must have missed her alot right, we have not seen her for four years, and i managed to talk to her, she can't recognise me, but she remembers me after i mentioned my name

woo. of course la i her chicken's foster mother leh.

hah and after our meal we went to NTUC to buy my rollerblades and a few sets of fbts, hopefully a form of motivation for me to exercise. yeahh.

oh and guess what peeps. tmr is supposedly the "one year 4 months" or torture and heartbreaks oh and coincidentally the 6th week of not seeing eachother *starts yodelling again, but higher pitch*

i'm so lost right now, no not because of that guy-whore, but many little downfalls accumulated to one, so please, somebody either you choke me to death now or burn me alive, your choice.

i'll be missing you

I'M SO MISSING YOU ALREADY CAN... argh... why must life be so unfair? the good always have to leave you... as if my life now can afford to lose somebody who cares so much for you.. and i known her for more than ten years already.. :( seriously sad man

her gathering yesterday! was very fun and 4 mfps people turned up. oh well but still, very fun! :) and got to meet carol's secondary school's "hip" people.. haha they keep using the word hip.. okay. the food was great and all, after that we went to a playground to hang around then they wanted to play spin the bottle.. and got to see exciting scenes, too bad, those who did not show up ;p

i'm real sad she's leaving

just look at my frowny face man :(, and that bouquet she's holding is a gift from me, but the real sad thing is, she's unable to bring it over to new zealand! argh!! *heartbreaks*

nick, weijie n me. met them to go to the airport together. weijie made very funny and stupid comments, like how everything's a laxative to him, and how he could shit almost instantly after having meals. right.

and he got real bored at T3 and i suggested to push him on the trolley. we can't grow up, i know, although we are like the oldest among them. he's one day older than me, and i still can't believe it.

and i really regret turning up at the airport late. we only like got to talk to her for awhile, then she went in. because we went to get little additions to her farewell gift.. after she went in we all walked back towards the station, quietly.. suddenly felt real sad that she's leaving.. argh getting emotional.

okay move on, nick wj and i decided to have dinner. nick wants to have carl's jr so we went to doby ghaut, went to the arcade and played bball.. WAHAHA i won them! yeah yeah -_-.. saw edwin there and he wished me a happy new year.. right

so carl's jr was packed so we ate at burger king instead. then after that accompanied wj to get his kiddy card collection then took the mrt back to amk.

went home and saw my mom's friends all gambling, so went to join them. won $66. yeah baby.

to carol: please take good care of yourself there, don't be too nervous though, this is like my hundredth time telling you this, but i really don't know what i'll do without you here to constantly whine about everything that is bugging me or need you to remind me that he's a total asshole who can't even get into a ITE... i know you have your own problems too, but you still bother to care about me, always and not just there and then. i told this to many other people that your one caring friend, like that day we were supposed to meet at 11 but turns out i overslept and woke up at 12+, and yet you only called me once and smsed once and asked me to take a train and slowly make my way there, because you know i always sleep late and was afraid i had insufficient sleep. i really hope your parents will get you a return ticket on june so you can come back.. because i'm missing you already!

love is in the air.. no wonder it's polluted

belated valentine's people, had your day well spent? with that special someone? lucky you. was trying to sleep but couldn't, so came to blog.

on wed, went out with my love to vivo! and right now as i type, i only have like 38 hrs left before she flies to New Zealand. i seriously don't know what i'll do without her la. she bought clothes and stuff for NZ and the farewell party at her house later on. we're going to catch a movie at vivo at 12 plus then most probably walking around and back to my house to take some stuff and make way to her party before five.

my hair covers half of my face, therefore i am emo.

so all the talk about valentine's day and dates. what the hell, several people asked me "eh never go out with your boyfriend/date meh?" HELLO thanks so much for making me feel much better by reminding me that i'm dateless and have a deranged confused mind at a very wrong time. all my close friends have dates, and i do mean ALL. i was desperate, so i decided to date someone out for dinner. that someone who loves me the most, who always has to tolerate my tempers and attitude, the someone who will give me what i want. and that person is...

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wa eh lao bu!

yeah guessed correctly? hah, went to orchard to shop! $_$ yeah love to shop whenever i'm feeling damn sad or heartbroken, but i think my mom would be the heartbroken one now because i spent about $500 that day. oops.

the scene was super depressing la, we were surrounded by couples, and i do mean that ever single table is occupied by couples, and i think we were the only customers that are from the same family. man, talk about pathetic. turn right, see flowers, turn left see coach paper bag. oh yeah and that day when carol accompanied me to gucci, saw this guy buying a wallet for the girlfriend, probably for valentine's we were so jealous la, okay maybe only me. the only person that's gonna buy me a gucci wallet is my mom, because she already did and she promised never to buy one again. lol. promises are meant to be broken right? :x

i was in a very bad mood and i showed almost everyone attitude on that day. especially my mother. i walked very fast and ahead of her before we find a place for dinner. then i started scolding her and stuff. but when we were seated at coffee club i apologised to her for having a foul attitude due to my bad mood but of course, she had forgiven me.

and when i got back home, i wished my brother's girlfriend a happy valentine's day through msn. they are both(my bro and her) currently having a holiday at london, after their exams at the universities at bristol and toronto. turns out the person replying me was my super sarcastic brother .


لعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
happy valentine's day!

[dawn] says:
happy v day to you too, from the most good looking guy you know

للعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
what? i didn't know daddy's in overseas

[dawn] says:
wah, okay i'll let him know, then your allowance surely increase

للعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
haha

[dawn] says:
so how's everything, and who's keeping my ang paos?

للعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
ang paos? what ang paos?

للعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
no la daddy keeping for you i think

للعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
oh and i'm dateless for v day!!

[dawn] says:
shocking.

[dawn] says:
go out with mummy la

للعنَةُ عليْك! تَعبير عَن الغَضَب says:
yeah that's what i did

[dawn] says:
oh, so did she buy you flowers?

[dawn] says:
heheh

stupid freaking sibling. it's things like this when you wish that your the only child. hah, kidding.

i hate my life. especially right now, everything's leaving me, all at the same time. all my closed ones are flying overseas, friends have boyfriends or busy with work or stuff, that they just don't even bother about you, yes they did say that they care for you and stuff, but... aiya, never mind.

so yes before valentine's i was very emotional.. i found out that he's like flirting with this girl.. that's supposedly his cousin's friend.. during my outing with carol on wednesday i couldn't help but to think what he will do on valentine's, whether he would be out with that girl or whatever. then i thought of how we celebrated last year, which coincidentally was also at vivocity.. i know i shouldn't be reminding myself of the past but i couldn't stop myself. i also wondered what i should do if he were to ask me out, which i thought was super unlikely.

but he did. with an sms "you free on valentine day?". i was shocked but undeniably happy to receive his sms then. but we had a tiff regarding how insincere he was of asking me out,then i rejected.. but he tried to say that he's serious and whatever shit, and was "angry" that i decided not to go, go die la fucker for what you angry? why forever you angry then i cannot angry ah? cbbbbbbb. then, i was about to agree to go out with him, until i got home and viewed his profile, ( i got my ways to have access) and found out he fucking asked that girl out. but not on valentines. and with a guy that likes that girl. he claims that he was "just helping his 'brother' " lj la, help to flirt? hah, then i told him i will not trust him anymore, then he explained himself but added "i don't need you trust :)" then for what fuck you explain yourself? such delicious irony.. anyways it was great that i found out so i wouldn't have any regrets that i didn't went out with him or whatever. because i was so confused earlier on whether to go out with him, because one side of me says it's soooooooooo wrong to go, but the other's just willing to be heartbrokened so as to go out with him. but then again, after all these, i realised how much he's changed, and how insincere he was about the whole thing, he did not even try persuading me to go out, and he did not message me at all for the whole day. talk about insincerity. so this will probably change my mind about missing him, but i know i still will, but perhaps and hopefully lesser, much lesser. oh did i mention that 13/2 was officially the one month of us not seeing eachother? yup.

okay i'm really superly-duperly pissed right now, after reminding myself that im a "booty-call" as phrased by carol, to that son of a bitch. i ain't somebody who will just go back to you whenever you want.

so i'll just find other stuff to do now. since carol's leaving i guess my life will be more and more boring.

and to top this wonderful life, i crushed my toe, no joke. due to faulty speakers in my brother's room, when i was using his computer to play maple. i pulled the cpu to check the back of it to see if the wires from the speakers are correctly connected, then it just dropped onto my damn toe, now it has a big black bloodclot inside, so cool.

oh well.

but not together

so on the third day of CNY i wore my golden pants. went to zhe ti's house first then came back home where my relatives from my mother's side of the family came to visit
nerissa finally agreed to take a picture with me after several years of pleading..

we wore matching shiny skinnies.. cool but hers is so much nicer..
botak jun and nerissa.. together for 4-5 years if i'm not wrong..man.. i still remember the times when i made fun of her in school..

after dinner i went to girlf's house to play cards... had fun and earned some lui! haha..

du shen's(queen) flying hair

pat, mel,ting and girlf's hand

oh this picture was taken on renuion dinner.. my brother insists i took a picture of him behind the fire.. okay..

and my baby! collected it on 5/2 for colour touch up... luckily it's safe and sound..

okay... i still don't understand why i still have dreams about him.. i had one last night.. but the storyflow wasn't smooth.. all i know is that we were not together.. but acted as if we were... but you know what they say.. dreams and reality.. are totally the opposite. last night when we were playing cards at girlf's house, queen mentioned that ahdeik went to club.. which she did not allow last time but somehow she did not care at all now.. i wish i was as strong as her.. and all my other friends.. but when she mentioned that there was an underage party at dxo.. the first thing that popped into my mind was whether he would be there.. and he knew very well that i hate guys who go clubbing.. especially him.. i remembered how i told him before that if he were to club i will never talk to him again.. maybe that threat will not matter to him? i don't understand why i still care.. it's been a month.. since i saw him.. since everything.. but hey a month is a short short period of time, somehow i think this one month is the longest month in my life. i know we can never be together again. but the inevitable fact is that i miss him. alot. but we can never be together.. not after everything.. no matter how much i wish not to let go, the fact is that we can never be together.. perhaps he himself don't wish to be together anymore too.. perhaps he has already moved on... i just wish that he will just tell me that he has already moved on or something.. so i won't think so much.. not making me stuck here everyday thinking what he is doing.. if he just moved on i can just completely erase him.. and for me missing him and stuff is quite unfair to others.. so i'm in a very confusing state right now.. perhaps i shouldnt go click on all the pictures last night.. then i wouldnt have that dream.. i bet he does not even have me on his mind these past few days.. many people told me he is not worth it, i know but i just need time to erase all this pain.. but is it because i choose not to let go? my mind says no when my heart says yes?

if anything should happen, i guess i wish you well.

Happy Ending

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen,
I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong,
I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on


...
somehow i think this song really relates on how i'm feeling now about the past..
but it's time to move on, happy ending's gone. forever

chu yi

pardon my screwed expression ah, taken by my nephew

okay, so yesterday was the first day of the chinese new year.. collected red packets and ate delicious and fattening food prepared by juliet and my mom. many relatives came. managed to talk to a couple of nephews and ask them about polys.

then these three babes came and surprised me at my back gate... simply love them la. too bad liyan couldn't make it though..

look as my lovely connie and drey make themselves at home on my comfy bed.

BEST FUCKING FRIEND

a series of un-aware shots of mer and i:

caution: fugly faces up ahead

lol connie

wtf man? i look like i got heart attack.. and mer.. seems so wrong.. so wrong..

LOL. this picture mer asked me to pose like how she did but somehow i can't control my laughter thus my "arhm chio" expression

and here's a series of merlamesa's beautiful face in fugly sexy poses. i'm going to post all of em up as sadly, her pictures might be hard to be seen in this blog nowadays.. as she have no time for poor old fang because she has someone more important than this crazy fuck. *bawls*

dramama man, but that is why i fucking love you

saw this bus which reminded me of someone's newly bought shoe.......

and one fucking thing make me fucking pissed today: i walked one of my younger relative home today at around 11 plus, as he lives very nearby, and i went to 7-11 at the petrol station to buy some stuff, and when i was on my way back, this fucking person in a red sports car unwinded his fucking window and "chut chut" me and say "hey baby!" WTF?! cheebye la think i'm a mother fucking whore? knn never see girls walking alone in the middle of the night before ah? nb... and what's worse? there's this fucking bangla on a bicycle who rode past me and said "hi". first time a bangla spoke to me so i was lost in knowing what i should do. so i simply stopped walking.. and guess what? that fucker U-TURNED and rode past me again.. but this time to the other direction.. so i quickly ran home.. and i turned back he was riding towards me again.. but heng by that time i already near my house...what the fuck, as if my life isn't already sucky...

SCREW ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKING PERVS.

new year, old self

notice all the grumpy faces? yes i'm feeling damn grumpy now. roar. hah. okay so now is like CHINESE NEW YEAR OMFGGONGXIFACAIHONGBAONALAIHUATAR. yup didn't see that coming. okay so now i'm feeling downright lost and pathetic. man, i still remember at this point of time exactly a year ago, i just created a private blog.. whatthefang.blogspot.com.. which is closed already, consisting of all my damned feelings and all. hah time passed real fast.. okay so basically life is pretty boring now that carol's away.. and the rest of the peeps are either busy or have others to accompany.. let's see.. so i'm basically left with.. MYSELF. yeah coolness man. go here go there also ALONE. but hey, i ain't complaining, being alone rocks k, nobody can like complain about how slow you eat, how messy you get, how fat you are, how long you take to try on your clothes, how your obsession over pink stuff is just bimbotic or whatever fuck. okay actually nobody does but hey, i'm consoling myself. and yeah you can like totally ignore this fucking post because i myself don't know what i am doing i'd just like to rant every fucking thing out. and i'm sure none of you actually read every damn word i type right? yeah guess so. it's like everyone says they care for me and whatever shit, but hey why am i alone here crying at this hour? alamak, i don't know leh? haha.. contradicting man. argh.. okay.. so like what am i going to do now.. hmmm it's 3.36 am now.. so around like 8 hours later a flock of gods and goddesses of fortune will come to my house and make me rich.. and what am i going to do with all the money i collect, you ask? oh simple. i would buy a fucking better life. what? not for sale? oh man. life suck, real bad. and what else can worsen this damn new year, is that a number of people is unable to celebrate it with me. my bro, dawn, carol and yashi. whatthehell. by now you're probably disgusted in how pessimistic i am about life and how i'm here whining and complaining and not doing anything about it. yeah i'm disgusted with myself too. haha. what the hell right? i know man. hah. all i can do is sit down watch tv and eat bakwa. what a loser.

ok just ignore all the rubbish i just typed. at least i feel a teeny weeny bit better. no, i'm lying. hahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahha.

gongxifuckcai.

suck on

4th day of work. committed a mistake. gave wrong credit card to customer. i'm really day dreaming man. heng nobody scold me. saw many familliar faces today, suay la why must locate near our school? once i see THAT face there my mood just sank. oh well. work is quite fun though. after work went to meet man and carol at orchard. went to eat at swensens. love to talk to them. they just love criticising me and remind me about my dark past. haha.as carol always say: "good times, good times".

i realise there are alot of phonies out there around me. i'm sick and tired of them. i really hate liars. yet again, i realise i've all along lied to myself.. lied about how i .... so perhaps i should hate myself too? yeah... i hate siufang.

spring cleaning

hello! worked yesterday. it was my 3rd day. i could say i'm already adapting to the environment and could handle my tasks. although i still can't carry 2 jugs of water at the same time (no strength), familiarize with table numbers, handle customers, but ok la. haha. and the people there keep asking me if im singaporean. YOU MEAN I LOOK LIKE IM FROM CHINA? although it's not a bad thing la. and i love my colleagues la so friendly, especially elizabeth ! oh i like her! haha

so i intend to do some spring cleaning, but i have not started. spring clean my room, my stupid thoughts, nasty memories and all. new year coming right? all bad must go. gogogogogogogogo.

and look at the current state of my room, although most of you already been to my house and see my nasty habitat.

horrible.cannot blame me. messy mind=messy room=messy life.

when i have the time i'll pack it. yeah, if i have the time.



PINK LAPTOP. although kinda early to buy for poly but who cares. woo

tomorrow will be working again! and after that would be meeting carol, ber and man to don't know where! haha. and tues will be collecting my baby. i hope it's fine. if those nasty aunties do any harm. I'LL MAKE A SCENE.