Demon inside

my mom says that her friends think i'm the "cool" sort, no not the "wah so cool" cool, the "get lost, i don't want to talk to you" cool. says i look unapproachable and unfriendly. come to think of it, i get that all the time. i guess most of you guys who don't really know me but saw me before or something, probably's nodding your head vigorously and agreeing with my mom's friends.

but hey, i'm so the friendly lor, come on. you say hi to me, yeah i'll probably give a O_O expression but after that i'll come to you and shock you by giving an intimate detail of myself, who knows?

and i know how people know i'll get affected by things easily that's why they tend to hide certain things or block the truth from me so that i won't feel hurt. but hiding things and getting found out in the end's more hurtful, no?

my mom even had to spare my feelings, afraid i'll get angry, just to let me know her opinion on how i look in certain clothing. that's low for a mom to feel that way. so yeah, i hate myself.

i hate myself for being so stupid in dealing with criticism... or anything else that's related

fucking despise myself

anyways.

on Thursday, mer invited me along to her class outing to Pulau Ubin

honestly i was happy that she called me along, knowing how bored i'm at home all the time and how much i love cycling

her classmates are real nice and friendly and they share a united, special bond

i envy them

stepped out of my house to find out how beautiful the day was
walked to pratahouse and met up with mer in the morning for breakfast

noooooooooooo

4 stories high

'walao must climb up sia'

crazy fellow

magnifique

while riding back, it started to pour and all of us got drenched

i'm real glad she called me along, i love cycling there... and enjoyed the beauty

i enrolled myself in SIM yesterday. and this was the "free gift" - laptop case

c'mon la, the fees are a bomb at least give something better la... but coincdentally it's the university's openhouse so there's free popcorn... so i count that as something better i guess..

OH YEAH. my intake's JULY. bloodyfuck, 'cos was too late for the april intake, gonna enroll myself in some fitness programme and get myself a job man...

and, ya, go on, rejoice fellow ex school/classmates! HAHA, no longer can you see a fat girl trying to act skinny by wearing tight fitting clothing and drown herself in makeup that looks like it's being drawn by a younger sibling, and no longer do you need to care about the fat girl's ever-so-fragile feelings that you have to hide or give her special treatment! rejoice!

but, i have to say, i'm going to miss one thing about NYP

- south canteen's breakfast set!!! that i had almost every school day in my poly life (no joke)

guess i won't be setting foot into that campus anymore.. oh except for wednesday or something, need to withdraw from the school before i can study somewhere else ma!

ok la, besides the school's food, i'll miss JALIBOY! gonna miss his stupid remarks, funny face expressions, motorbike (haha), how he walked sideways to shelter me from the rain that's coming from the side, or covering me if i'm wearing a dress and it's super windy. not to mention how he'll constantly encourage me and asking me not to give up so easily.